Recommendations on Health & Fitness

Once Christmas passes, people tend to start thinking about health, fitness, and new years resolutions. Why not think about them now... and if you get some Christmas money or Amazon gift cards, spend them on things that will change your life?

In the past year, I stopped skating with my derby team and I changed my life. Derby helped me get past fears I didn't even know I had. At the end, it stressed me out to a really unbelievable extent. Today I'm a lot healthier and slightly more sane than I was when I was skating.

In the past year, I've lost a full clothing size (maybe more- I haven't been clothes shopping recently) and approximately 25 pounds. More importantly, I've lost almost 7% body fat. Because of these changes, people have asked me what I do/use/eat. Here's my recommendations, all in one tidy package.

I joined a gym and found a trainer I like. I like my gym- it doesn't smell bad, the towels are nice, the showers have good pressure, and I never have to wait for a bike. It has gotten to the point where the trainers and the desk staff at least know my face, if not my name.

I see a trainer once a week. If you say that you're not fit enough to see a trainer, you're 100% wrong. Everyone should see a trainer once in a while- you don't need to see one once a week if you don't want to. She's helped me with my form, pushed me to try things that are now a major part of my fitness agenda, told me to get one more rep wen I wanted to give up, encouraged me when I am feeling down about how I look, made me feel sore in muscles I didn't know existed. I also have a repetitive use injury in my left knee from derby, and she has helped me strengthen the muscles supporting it as well as show me how to protect it when lifting.

I bought the book The New Rules of Lifting for Women. I have bought more than one fitness book/guide/whatever in my time. This is the only one I followed like it was my job. I took 6 months to do the entire program.

The only part of it I ignored was the nutrition advice- mainly because I'm super picky. I ate about the number of calories they recommended- the theory is that you can either focus on losing fat or you can focus on gaining muscle but if you do both at the same time you won't do either one very well. So I changed my focus to muscle for 6 months. I lost exactly zero pounds doing this program. I lost an entire clothing size. I gained unbelievable pride in the muscles I am finally starting to see.

I bought a Misfit Shine - it's like a Fitbit, only prettier. I am motivated by competition and this motivates me. I like to see the lights reach the goal. It works for walking, biking, swimming (it's waterproof)- pretty much anything. On non-gym days I am totally motivated by making sure I reach my goal so that I can keep my streak going.

It's so pretty!

I did a detox. Yes, I really did. Actually, I did it twice. I did the Metagenics 10 day detox that a friend recommended because he's a chiropractor and he's also done it. It was really awful the first time in February. It was moderately unpleasant the second in October. The hardest part was cutting out sugar. I lost weight both times but I really reformed my eating habits and that was the goal. 

I set very specific goals. I have goals for body fat, weight, clothing size, time to run a mile, and a few others. I have never been very good at goal setting, so this is a big change for me!

Lastly, and maybe the most important thing, I changed my mindset about eating. I am an all or nothing person in most areas of my life- I can't do something halfway, it's not the way I'm programmed. Which means that I'm either dieting or I'm not. In the past year, I've changed that. Instead of having a "cheat day" which means that I could literally eat insane amounts of food, I have moved to having 4 cheat meals a week- I typically eat 5 meals a day, so 4 out of 35 meals in a week are cheats.  A cheat meal is far less damaging. It also means I feel far less deprived- planning to eat out with friends? Have the burger and beer. It's not the end of the world, or the end of the diet. I'll be back to drinking green smoothies in the morning. 

I also make a great effort to not think about eating something for the last time. If it's something unusual that only comes around once a year, I'll eat it. But I try to remember, I'll probably get a chance to eat it again and I don't eat like a starving man. I haven't gone on a big vacation during this time- if I went somewhere with unusual food, I would probably eat a lot of it. But I'd go back to being my normal self when I returned. It's all part of the deal. 

There you have it- all my secrets. If you want to ask me any questions, feel free- if I can help you, I will! 

BE RESPONSIBLE. Or, why I think most crowdfunding is stupid.

When I went to college, I paid for it with some help from my parents, some from myself, some from teensy tiny scholarships, most of it in the form of loans from the US government that I will be paying back for ages.

When I bought my first car, I had a job. At a gas station. Where I went to work at 7 am every day in the summer.

When my husband and I wanted to have a kid, we waited until we both had good jobs with good leave policies and insurance.

When we wanted to go on vacation, we saved our money.

When I wanted to play roller derby, I spent money that I had saved. I worked for contracts, bonuses, I even donated plasma so that I could upgrade my wheels. And after a year, I had a job so that helped pay for it, too.

Fundraisers have been a part of life forever. Dramatic things happen to people and sometimes they need help. Where it used to be that you'd see an address that accompanied a story in the newspaper, you could mail a check. Or you'd hear about someone at church and try to find out what they needed. Or you would hear from a friend and help out that way.

The internet has made the world a smaller place. Now you can hear about people who need help all over the world.

The difference is, people seem to think that they can ask for help for no reason at all.

All the things I mentioned above... there are fundraisers for those things: pay for me to go to college, buy a car, have a kid, buy a house, go on vacation, bla bla y bla.

Let me give a disclaimer: if something tragic happened to you, please, fundraise. I am not talking to you. You know what I mean: the family whose house burnt down, the dad who had a heart attack while running one Sunday and left his disabled wife and 2 kids behind, the mom who was in the Army and didn't return from Afghanistan, the tornado that tore through the town and leveled everything but the YMCA... legitimate reasons for fundraisers.

I was super entertained by the guy who raised money to make potato salad. If you didn't hear about Zack Danger and his potato dreams, click here. He's pointing out the ridiculousness of crowdfunding for stupid reasons, and probably making $50k in the process.

The ones that really get under my skin are the derby fundraisers. Go ahead, click on this link, it might annoy you as much as it did me. If you search for roller derby on some of the personal fundraising sites, you'll see that people are asking money to buy their gear. The most basic stuff: skates, pads, helmet.

Listen to me, grasshopper: if you can't afford the gear, how will you afford the dues, the travel, the insurance, the injuries, the possible time off work, the uniform. Literally thousands of dollars a year in derby expenses.

this is what it's like to play derby

Also like this. You're never seeing it again.

If you need to crowdfund for knee pads, you probably can't afford derby right now.

Be responsible. If you want to play derby and as many of the pleas say, "nothing will stop (me)" you, then save your money.

You can still get ready to play derby. Start working out now- there are lots of things you can do to get in shape for derby. There are TONS of websites that will tell you.

Go to open skate. Wear the rink skates. When you get your own, you'll appreciate them so much more.

Go to bouts. Volunteer. Learn all about derby.

And save your money. You're the only one responsible for your derby dreams. Earn them.

I love my body?

Yes, a question mark. My body does amazing things. Things it couldn't do a few years ago. For example:

• 15 push ups on my toes (probably more, the truth is, I haven't tried).
• Hold a plank on my toes for 1 minute 15 seconds.
• Skate 25 laps in less than 4 minutes.
• Squat, squat, do more squats, and then squat more.
• Carry Agent N on my back (he is about 70 lbs!)

But I am still a big girl.

When I joined roller derby, I saw it as a place where big girls were GOOD. Big was beneficial. Basic physics says that force = mass x acceleration. I have more mass than you and I have decent acceleration therefore I have more force.


But the more I play, the more I see these teeny tiny players getting amazing and I'm still a thorn in their collective sides, but.... but I don't know. I'm fast. I'm the fastest blocker on my team. I'm faster than some of our jammers. I'm proud of this! I am! But damnit if I don't want to look like them.

I want to fit in a smaller size. That's all. It's vanity. It's self doubt. It's not accepting who I am right now. If I died tomorrow, they wouldn't say "she was fat" at the funeral. Right? I mean, please tell me they wouldn't. They would say that I was a mom, a teacher, a derby girl. That I gave 100% in everything I did (except cleaning the house). That sometimes I got angry when other people weren't willing to believe in themselves.

Oh. hey. Let me think about that one.