The Great Decluttering Challenge

Every day for the past month, "Declutter 1 Thing" has regenerated on my to do list. I love repeating items on my to do list.

Declutter could mean 3 things:

1. Throw it away. 
2. Put it aside for yard sale. My neighborhood has an epic yard sale every spring and fall. Some people are very serious about selling stuff at this yard sale, or renting their driveways out to their friends. Traffic is mayhem at this ridiculous yard sale. People get out their grills and sell hot dogs. In general, I decided that if someone else might find value in it, I was going to pack it into a box and put it in the basement to sell in the spring. All money from the yard sale in May, 2015, is going to fund my service trip to Honduras (more on that later). 
3. Put it aside to give away.

More rules I established for myself:

• If I didn't declutter one thing, I couldn't check it off the list. Which means it turned red and became "overdue" on my app. And then the next day, I had 2 things to declutter. I only got really behind once, when I had to declutter 4 things in one day. 
• I could only remove something of my own, unless I had permission. The other day I cleaned up my younger son's books but I had to have permission to remove them. He gave it, since most of them were "baby books." 
• I couldn't check things off in advance. If I got fired up and cleaned out 3 things in one day, I couldn't check off 3 things ahead. One day, one check. The only time it counted was in back pay. (see above)

Occasionally, I decluttered lots of things. I started by cleaning out bookcases. Since my oldest son was born 12 years ago, we have moved 4 times. Twice to different states. That's a lot of packing and unpacking books, some of which I don't even like. It was hard to get rid of books because books are nice. They're comforting. You might need them someday. Some of them I gave to fellow teachers for their classrooms. Some I put in a yard sale box. Some I gave to a local charity.

Once I got past the initial routine, it became easier. I would try to think of a place I hadn't cleaned in a while and look there.

Some wonderful results of this particular challenge:

• I got a lot more organized. 

So organized. (not mine.)

• I have some really good stuff to sell at the yard sale. I always feel like I have a ton of stuff then I put it out and it's not that much. Which means that people don't even stop to look. Maybe they will this year. 
  

Some problems I came across:

• When I thought we should sell/give away something that a child refused to part with. A regular conversation was "You haven't played with this in years!" "But I want to now!" 
• Sometimes, the task was too daunting. I would look in a closet and decide that I would not be decluttering that particular location. Mainly that was because the object in that closet were not mine and I didn't want to get approval for decluttering. Either that, or I didn't want to move them around to get to the stuff that is community property. 

I'm not saying the rest of the people I live with are hoarders,
but I might be the one person standing between them and reality TV. 

• I'm so organized that I can't find some things. 

Either way, I strongly recommend doing this. It really helped me think about how there are some things I don't care about that I have moved around over and over again. And it definitely made me more organized. If only I can find the cookie cutters by Christmas, I'll be ok. 

Dress Codes and Shorts

This is my opinion. Agree, disagree, I don't care. Thoughtful interaction welcome. Wild flaming of original poster or commenters not welcome.

There's a lot of news out there about student dress codes. And there's a lot of writing under the feminist banner about how girls should be allowed to wear shorts as short as they want because it's not their job to dress so they don't distract boys.

I get that, I really do. Girls, you do you. Dress how you want. I mean, good lord almighty, for three years I was a woman in her mid 30s wearing booty shorts and skating derby in front of people. And I did not give the tiniest damn about what they thought of my butt.

However, I do not wear booty shorts at work. And kids, school is your job. One of the things that teachers study in their education prep (or at least I did) was the hidden curriculum.

http://edglossary.org/hidden-curriculum/   Hidden curriculum refers to the unwritten, unofficial, and often unintended lessons, values, and perspectives that students learn in school. While the “formal” curriculum consists of the courses, lessons, and learning activities students participate in, as well as the knowledge and skills educators intentionally teach to students, the hidden curriculum consists of the unspoken academic, cultural, and social messages that are communicated to students while they are in school.

The hidden curriculum is important. Sometimes the hidden curriculum is detrimental. If you go to the edglossary.org link, you can see examples of when the hidden curriculum is a problem because it reinforces social, economic, and social problems that may be endemic in a community.

However, the hidden curriculum can be beneficial. Schools are organized in a way that promote positive social interactions. High schools are the last step for many students on their way to their career. While some students will not go on to a professional white-collar work environment after they leave school, many of them will. Every student needs to learn how to behave in a professional environment.

I wish I could tell you that you're going to go out into the world and not be judged. But you are. And for both men and women alike, if you dress in a professional manner, people will more highly value what you do and what you say. I might have been just a kid in a suit, but for two years, I was a kid in a suit who had the ear of a Congressman. For two more years, I had the ear of the Vice Chair of the County Commission in one of the most populous counties in the US. And for two more years, I oversaw the yearly spending of more than half a million dollars in university funding on alumni programming.

I don't do any of those things anymore- for the past ten years I have had the ears of approximately 130 high school students a year plus my own two kids. But to me, the ears attached to more than a thousand young, developing heads, are far more important than the previous ears. Because the impact these kids will make is greater than that of the Congressman, or Commission, or alumni association.

And that is why I am here to tell you that dressing in a manner that adequately portrays what's inside your head is important. Don't let how you look distract from the importance of the message you are sending. I don't wake up every morning excited to once again oppress teenage boys and girls. I wake up excited to expand their minds and to learn more from them every day. I wake up hoping that whatever I am bringing to those students to engage with will light a spark of interest and ignite their curiosity in some aspect of the world around them.

I have heard complaints from female students who say it's too hot and I don't understand. Considering that I'm in the same building that you are in for an even longer period of time, I'm pretty sure I do understand. I like shorts.  Of all my body parts, I think I have some pretty outstanding legs. I'd love to wear shorts to school. But I don't, because it's not professional. Because my employer would warn me, then fire me.

I have heard complaints saying from female students saying that it's sexist toward females. I am 100% certain that if boys wore short shorts there would be rules against that, too. Dress code rules about keeping your pants pulled up and your underwear not showing are aimed toward males. I enforce keeping your pants pulled up and your shorts past fingertip length equally.

When you go to the beach, do not wear school appropriate clothing. Wear tiny bathing suits. Be proud of your body.

When you go to your job, do not wear school appropriate clothing. Dress for your job whether you are a camp counselor and your job is wearing and applying bug repellent all day, mowing lawns, or scooping ice cream.

I am not saying:

• Dress like a clone
• Dress like a 40 year old
• Wear a uniform
• The 1950s were great
• Girls should be oppressed
• Style is for suckers
• Wear clothing that is too big

I am saying: 

• Dress appropriately for your environment
• When school is out, wear whatever fits your environment
• Your teachers are not thinking about sex if they ask you to pull your pants up (males) or your shorts/skirts down at the bottom (females)
• Dress in your own style

It is possible that rules exist because your teachers and administrators care about you and want you to succeed in school and in life. 

Life Tips

I keep seeing these lists of "life hacks" and stuff like that. But what if you're not 25? All those lists seem irrelevant to me- I'm a few years outside of their target demographic. So here's a list that's from me and the reason I'm posting it is to serve as a reminder for me. 

1. Use conditioner. 
2. Don't neglect your eyebrows. If you're concerned about aging, use a brow powder. It will take years away immediately. 
3. Your skin changes colors with the seasons. So should your foundation. 
4. If you say, "be honest." to a friend/sister/mom/coworker, expect them to be honest. Don't be butthurt when they are. 
5. If they're not honest, ask someone who is.
6. If you don't want the truth, ask yourself what you are afraid of. 
7. Recognize that you have the freedom to make choices. 
8. Recognize that you are not free from the consequences of those choices, either positive or negative. 
9. Apologize when you've done something wrong. 
10. Don't apologize when you've not done something wrong. 
11. Buy clothes that fit well. 
12. If they don't fit well, either get rid of them or get them tailored. 
13. Don't keep clothes because you spent a lot on them. If they are out of date, faded, or just in general look bad, let it go. 
14. Don't buy something just because it's on sale.  
    
15. Don't apologize for your taste in music. 
16. Don't apologize for who you are. 
17. Comfort does not always equal sloppiness. Wear what makes you comfortable but be neat.
18. Jeans and a t-shirt are perfectly acceptable. 
19. Don't wear tennis shoes, running shoes, sneakers, trainers, whatever you call them- with boot cut jeans. 
20. Read more. 
21. Listen to podcasts. Especially ones that make you laugh. 
22. Give to charity. You'll feel good about it and have a tax deduction. 
23. Save some money. 
24. If you're loyal to a brand, subscribe to their emails. Take advantage of their discounts and bonuses. 
25. Your feelings are valid.
26. Your gut instinct is valid. 
27. While your feelings & gut instinct are valid, it's not always wise to display them publicly.
28. Be skeptical. 
29. Consider the information you're sharing. It can be used against you. 
30. It's ok not to love someone as much as they love you. 
31. You need people in your life who love you as much as you love them. Find and cherish those people.
32. Friendships have the same arc as romantic relationships. It's ok to let them go. 
33. It's also ok to grieve those friendships. 
34. As you get older, you'll realize it's easy to alienate other women by asking, "where do you work?"  Try phrasing it differently, "Do you work?" is a safe choice- it gives them the opportunity to say what they want about their career choice (or lack thereof). 
35. Whether you carry a huge purse or a tiny wallet, make sure what you need fits inside. An overstuffed handbag looks ridiculous. 
36. Subscribe to a fitness email- even if you don't read it, it will remind you to get active. 
37. Find a physical activity you enjoy and do it. 
38. Become part of a team- either at work, or elsewhere. Independence is good, but teamwork reveals things that you need to know. 
39. Honor your commitments. 
40. Realize when your commitments are draining you and excuse yourself gracefully. 
41. Learn the phrase, "I'm sorry, that won't work for me." and then use it. 
42. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world- if you love it, use it anyway. 
    
43. Learn how to use power tools- especially a drill & circular saw. 
44. If you're learning from the internet, watch more than one tutorial video. 
45. When making a choice that affects others, prepare to defend your choice. You may not have to in public, but you will quell your self doubt. 
46. Know that sometimes you'll have to do things you won't really want to do but that won't hurt you to do them. Look for the benefit in doing them anyway.
47. Find people who share your sense of humor - or at least appreciate it. 
48. Hopefully, the same people will be ones with which you can disagree and still remain friends.
49. Makeup can be fun and you are not less of a strong woman if you enjoy it. 
    
50. Dance at weddings, even if you are a crappy dancer. 
51. Be proud of where you come from. 
52. Be proud of where you're going. 
53. Accept that weight loss will not make your life better. 
54. Don't put your life on hold for anything- better job, more money, weight loss, relationship. You may find what you want when you're doing something completely unrelated. 
55. Make goals. 
56. Reward yourself for reaching those goals. 
57. Establish traditions for yourself.
58. Embrace change.
    
    The next part is the if you're a mom or ever plan to be a mom section. 
59. Be the kind of mom your kid(s) need, not the kind you wanted.
60. Don't tell your kid(s) that they will be good at something before they do it. They might not be good at it. 
61. Don't force your kids to bring younger/older brothers/sisters along when they play with their friends. Let them be their own people. 
62. It's ok to enjoy time away from your kids. 
63. Your kid(s) will get mad at you. That means you're doing your job. 
64. Be a good example- what you do is a lot more noticeable than what you say.
65. Hold your kid(s) to a high but not unattainable standard.  
    
66. You will fail at parenting. Learn from it and let it go. 
67. Rewarding every little effort sets kids up for failure. 
68. Encourage your kid(s) to continue what they enjoy even if it's not a choice you would make for them. 
69. Make sure your kid(s) learn the value of honoring their commitments.
70. Don't force your kid(s) to do an extracurricular they hate. But honor the above - if they're in the middle of a season or production or whatever, they should finish it.  (See also: teamwork)
71. Teach your kid(s) manners.