BE RESPONSIBLE. Or, why I think most crowdfunding is stupid.

When I went to college, I paid for it with some help from my parents, some from myself, some from teensy tiny scholarships, most of it in the form of loans from the US government that I will be paying back for ages.

When I bought my first car, I had a job. At a gas station. Where I went to work at 7 am every day in the summer.

When my husband and I wanted to have a kid, we waited until we both had good jobs with good leave policies and insurance.

When we wanted to go on vacation, we saved our money.

When I wanted to play roller derby, I spent money that I had saved. I worked for contracts, bonuses, I even donated plasma so that I could upgrade my wheels. And after a year, I had a job so that helped pay for it, too.

Fundraisers have been a part of life forever. Dramatic things happen to people and sometimes they need help. Where it used to be that you'd see an address that accompanied a story in the newspaper, you could mail a check. Or you'd hear about someone at church and try to find out what they needed. Or you would hear from a friend and help out that way.

The internet has made the world a smaller place. Now you can hear about people who need help all over the world.

The difference is, people seem to think that they can ask for help for no reason at all.

All the things I mentioned above... there are fundraisers for those things: pay for me to go to college, buy a car, have a kid, buy a house, go on vacation, bla bla y bla.

Let me give a disclaimer: if something tragic happened to you, please, fundraise. I am not talking to you. You know what I mean: the family whose house burnt down, the dad who had a heart attack while running one Sunday and left his disabled wife and 2 kids behind, the mom who was in the Army and didn't return from Afghanistan, the tornado that tore through the town and leveled everything but the YMCA... legitimate reasons for fundraisers.

I was super entertained by the guy who raised money to make potato salad. If you didn't hear about Zack Danger and his potato dreams, click here. He's pointing out the ridiculousness of crowdfunding for stupid reasons, and probably making $50k in the process.

The ones that really get under my skin are the derby fundraisers. Go ahead, click on this link, it might annoy you as much as it did me. If you search for roller derby on some of the personal fundraising sites, you'll see that people are asking money to buy their gear. The most basic stuff: skates, pads, helmet.

Listen to me, grasshopper: if you can't afford the gear, how will you afford the dues, the travel, the insurance, the injuries, the possible time off work, the uniform. Literally thousands of dollars a year in derby expenses.

this is what it's like to play derby

Also like this. You're never seeing it again.

If you need to crowdfund for knee pads, you probably can't afford derby right now.

Be responsible. If you want to play derby and as many of the pleas say, "nothing will stop (me)" you, then save your money.

You can still get ready to play derby. Start working out now- there are lots of things you can do to get in shape for derby. There are TONS of websites that will tell you.

Go to open skate. Wear the rink skates. When you get your own, you'll appreciate them so much more.

Go to bouts. Volunteer. Learn all about derby.

And save your money. You're the only one responsible for your derby dreams. Earn them.

Prince Fielder is NAKED!

To start: every year ESPN the magazine has a body issue. They take super-arty (technical term) pics of athletes in a variety of sports. This year all the chatter is about Prince Fielder. Used to love him when he played for the Tigers, but he wasn't my favorite because I thought he had an attitude. Which is why I don't like one of his pictures, because he looks like a snob. But this picture:

dem legs.

I like this picture. This picture is blowing up the internet. There's a lot of hate going around about it because uuuuuugggggggh, he's sooooooo faaaaaaaaat.
Barf.
Whatever.

I have some things to say.

1. Before he was injured, he was paid to do one thing: hit baseballs a really long way. His body has been trained to do exactly that. Yes, he also played first base, but of all the positions in baseball, first is one of the least physically demanding. The dude hits baseballs.
2. He is paid, despite injury, $24 million a year to hit baseballs. Until 2020.
3. 1 in 6 players drafted make it to the majors. (Source) 17.2% of those good enough to even make it to the draft.
4. 1% of high school ball players will make it to the majors. (Source)

Whether or not you think Prince Fielder is hot, he's been hired to do a job that is almost entirely manual labor. Yes, he has to think about which pitches to hit and all that, so I didn't say it's entirely manual labor, but almost. You could be smart as hell and still not able to hit a home run. You gotta have the body to back it up. Anyway, Fielder hits baseballs, and until an injury that could happen to anyone, he did a fanfuckingtastic job of it. So go ahead and give him shit for how he looks, but I'm pretty sure he gives exactly zero fucks about what you think.