Howling in Pain.

Not quite howling. *note: this post contains profanity.

I seem to recall someone saying "I threw out my back." ... for my whole life. They did it playing racquetball (hah! the 80s!) or brushing their teeth (hah! the 90s! ... I'm kidding. Good dental hygiene is always in style.) or picking socks up off the floor.

For me, I did it lifting weights. At least I have a studly excuse.

At first I didn't know what happened. I had a lovely session with my trainer, then I did my workout for The New Rules of Lifting: Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess. I'm still in phase one of this workout and it's not terribly hard. So anyway, I did the workout.

My back was a bit sore. Nothing major. I didn't do anything unusual or crazy.

And then I did some foam rolling. My trainer occasionally scolds me in the way that a 20 something woodsprite looking thing can scold me and says I don't foam roll enough after lifting. Since my back did not feel awesome, I foam rolled a bit.

Neither I, nor my trainer, look like this dude.

Then I went home and I sat down to dinner. No, I didn't shower, I prefer dinner at a reasonable hour and will put off showering to eat. And when I sat down, my back said:  WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

For the record, I turned 39 a month-ish ago. I had never once thrown out my back. I didn't even know what the hell that meant.

Here I am, 5 days later. I have been able to get up, walk around, and I did yoga and lifted weights on Saturday. I have not been confined to my bed. I have only taken copious amounts of pain medication at night.

However, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. Why does this happen? Just one day, your back is like NOPE. Not going to operate like a normal back right now. Sorry.

I mean, COME ON. I have treated you moderately well, back. I get the occasional massage. I used to go to the chiropractor until they started harassing me to come 3 days a week. I occasionally sit in the jacuzzi at the gym with a jet pounding on you for a minute. I'm NICE. 

Whatever, back. You suck. 

My Thoughts on Non-Weight Lifting Days

• I should work out today
• Ok, I'm going to work out
• What am I going to do? 
• I hate cardio. 
• It's rainy outside, I'm going to the gym. 
• It's beautiful outside, there is no way I'm going to the gym. 
• I guess I should run. 
• I'll do intervals. 
• Why do I live in such a hilly neighborhood? 
• I should go to the park. 
• All the parks have hills, too. 
• I should get new running shoes. 
• I don't need new shoes, these ones are fine. 
• I should probably get new shoes but they're so expensive. 
• I wonder if anyone would take my old shoes as a donation? They're in good shape, kind of. 
• I should ask my friends if anyone they know is doing one of those shoe drives for Africa. 
• Where are my headphones? 
• Where are my sunglasses? 
• At least I know where my visor is. 
• Ew, this thing is crusty. 
• It's such a nice day! 
• Just call me Princess Fanny Pack. 
• Better fanny pack than broken phone though, right? 
• I only have 6 months left on my phone contract! Can't wait to get a new one! 
• All of my neighbors have better landscaping. 
• I wonder what that tree/bush/flower is called? I want one. 
• (phone says: 1 mile completed) Yeah, one mile! Woo! One more? Sure. Beside, you're not even close to home. 
• Walking up hills is way better than running. 
• Look at me running down this hill! Weeeeeeee!
• Am I done yet? 
• I'll sprint to that mailbox.
• I am not a sprinter. 
• Feeling pretty good. I bet I'm running pretty fast. 
• I'm going to take a detour. 
• I can't believe that only added .2 miles! I thought for sure it would be .5. 
• Almost home! 
• Should I add another detour? 
• I swear that one is uphill both ways. 
• I think I'm done. 
• Wow, I feel great! 
• I should do that again. 
• In a month. 

DIY Deodorant?

One of the funniest things about Pinterest is what gets repinned.

My top 2 pins are a t-shirt that says "Back 2 Back World War Champs" 

... and do it yourself deodorant. 

Off topic: ever have a word you can't spell right? Mine is deodorant. Thank glob for spell check. 

Here's the original link: http://greatist.com/health/DIY-Deodorant

And now here's how I did it: 

1. Look up all the DIY deodorant recipes on the internet. Discover that the recipe that I linked to above says use cornstarch, but apparently that's bad. 
2. Get ingredients: 
• arrowroot powder was easy to find at the local hippie store. 
• Find an essential oil that I like and that won't clash with the scent of coconut oil- I used sweet orange. 
• I already had baking soda and coconut oil- I used Spectrum. 
  
3. Use up a regular container of deodorant. Take out the little plastic thing that holds the deodorant inside and realize that in my particular brand (Secret) there are holes in the bottom. Wonder how exactly I will be filling said container with a liquid. 
4. Determine that filling those holes with hot glue is a good idea. And it actually was a good idea! Tip: use wax paper underneath so you don't hot glue your base to something else. You just want to fill the holes. 
5. Replace base in deodorant container. 
6. Melt coconut oil, mix up ingredients.


• 1/2 cup coconut oil (pre-melting)
• 1/4 cup arrowroot powder
• 1/4 cup baking soda
• 1/8 -1/4 teaspoon essential oil 


7. Slowly pour into container
8. Realize that I have too much left over, put some in fridge in a smallish tupperware container.
9. Be skeptical. 
10. Use deodorant- important note: this is not anti-perspirant. It's de-stinkifier. I shower at night after working out. That's when I use this stuff- I put it on after my shower, then again before going to sleep. In the morning, I go back to using my full-of-chemicals but beloved Secret. 

Results: 

• It smells good.
• It's greasy, but my pits are getting moisturized. I guess. 
• I'm only using it at night and I don't care if I get damp pits then. 
• I'm not stinky. 
• It's a little gritty.

Judgement: I think I'm going to keep this up. 3 weeks in and no adverse effects.